Stop Living in Fear, and Start Following Your Passion
Author/ Photo Credit to Jen Allwright - and also her original painting.
As long as I can remember drawing was something I loved to do.
As a teenager in high school I spent a lot of time drawing people and animals. I was also fortunate enough to have a wonderful art teacher who believed in me.
At the end of grade 12, he pulled me aside and said “ please don’t waste your talent, don’t be a 'has been' like me... tell me you will go to Art School!
I told him that I definitely would, but late that same fall he found me at the mall working retail. He scolded me, and asked to why I was there and not at an Art Institute.
I noticed that his eyes seemed sad and disappointed.
Download Your Free Inspirational 58 Page Guide - PDF
7 DAYS TO A BETTER YOU!
Just Enter Your Name & Email Address Below
To Get This FREE GUIDE Instantly!
To this day I wonder What If ...
I'd been afforded the chance to go to school for art and followed my passion, how would my life be different?
I love where I am today and wouldn’t change a thing, but the "in between" was really rough.
At seventeen I thought I fell in love. Then somewhere in the midst of my parents saying... "stop being silly you can’t survive on art you need to get a real job..."
And meeting the boy I would marry, my dream of pursuing art fell to the wayside.
I listened to those voices around me and worked desk jobs for the next 20 years. Moving from job to job, usually getting bored within a year, and searching for another.
Never feeling fulfilled or truly happy, I knew instinctively that I wasn't on the right path.
Most of the time I had to work 2 or 3 jobs so that my spouse (who couldn’t keep a job) could pursue his dreams. Every once and awhile I’d find time where I could paint or draw. But I was always pulled away from it because of some drama that would occur in my relationship.
I didn't understand, or become fully aware for 31 years that I was being manipulated, and both verbally and physically abused by my husband.
He was kind one day and evil the next.
He’d encourage me to create my art, then soon after find a way to destroy my chances to do just that .
We moved constantly, and I was disconnected from my friends and family .
Then one icy February morning, I was sitting in my car staring at a line of trees protecting the barn where I had my old horse boarded.
I was struggling with my thoughts. Why does the person who should love me the most, make me feel guilty about everything that brings me joy.
It was him who couldn't keep a job, but somehow he found a way to make me feel guilty for spending the money on my horse.
I felt like I was drowning, and for the first time in 31 years I took a moment to breath in deeply and be still. That was the day I asked the universe to please help me however it could.
It amazed me, but within a month everything started to change.
I came up to the surface, stopped being a victim and began to take action. Slowly, and finally reaching out to my family and friends I left my husband and got my life back.
When you're abused you don’t own “you.“
Your abuser does.
So you just float along living day by day in a fog.
It took years to mend, and heal. But reconnecting with a very special man from my past (thanks universe), who was healthy in every way, and opening up to my family allowed me to crush victimhood.
I started living my life how I wanted to, on my own terms.
So flash forward now to the present.
I’m living in the Midwest. I’m in a healthy, loving relationship and fully invested in my art.
It’s been 8 years now since I squashed my victim mentality and my painting is a huge part of my recovery.
I even have my own website now and show my art in local galleries and art festivals! wildhorsestudio.art
It’s like breathing to me.
Like meditation for my soul, and it takes me to my happy place.
Sometimes I find the process trance like.
Recently I painted a grey wolf that had come to me in my dreams many times, and always left me with the feeling that he was my protector.
But that’s a whole other story for another day!
As I started to paint him it was like someone else just took over through my hand.
You know that hypnoses thing you experience when driving and you can’t remember details between your starting point and your final destination, but somehow voila!
You arrived safely!
Well when I came to, and checked the time I'd been painting for about an hour and this was what happened.
I truly believe that he's my spirit animal.
I was exhausted and felt like I’d been holding my breath the whole time, but I also felt more complete, and that’s what creating art does for me.
It completes me, and all my broken pieces get glued back together one brush stroke at a time.
After a much needed nap I painted my wolf again, from a different perspective this time.
This one is called... "Found Home."
That wonderful man in my life named them, he totally gets me sometimes more then I get myself!
What are some of the things I’ve learned over the last eight years?
Try not to control everything, let it flow and trust in the universe.
Feel 'what you want' like you already have it, and at the same time say thank you for what you do have.
Following Your Passion:
In the last 5 years I’ve not only been showing my art in galleries and at art festivals, but I'm also in the process of building up a business of painting pet portraits.
I love seeing the happy expressions on my clients faces when they see their completed commissioned pieces. There is nothing better than being able to make a living around something you're passionate about.
I always work hard to capture the likeness and spirit of each animal. You can visit my website for more info here at wildhorsestudio.art
Don’t judge anyone or what they love to do, and move away from those that do.
Find your happy and don’t feel responsible for someone else’s happy.
Just do you!